4/29/2024 0 Comments Drape of the forgotten souls![]() ![]() There are always so many things we have to do, and they all seem so important. Sometimes we feel there’s no time to help. We’re reminded of who we really are and what we have to offer one another.” When we’re done, and a little comfort’s been shared, we put down the phone and feel a little more at home with ourselves. Instinctively we come out of ourselves, just to be there with her and say a few reassuring words. ![]() We may be sitting alone, lost in self-doubt or self-pity, when the phone rings with a call from a friend who’s really depressed. Ram Dass said it well in explaining what happens when we help one another: “Caring for one another we sometimes glimpse an essential quality of our being. A hidden part of us thrills with joy when we reach out to one another in simple, everyday ways. How did it make you feel? And why did it make you feel so good? What is there in loving and helping one another that is so nurturing to our souls? Perhaps in doing so we are rediscovering our connectedness to one another. Maybe you nursed a sick friend back to health, helped in a soup kitchen, coached the school football team, volunteered to raise money for some charity. Think back to times when you’ve given of yourself completely. Helping others always makes us feel good. The benefits are so enormous and consistent that you have to wonder why we don’t practice such kindness more often. The joy and happiness that love and compassion for others bring is one of the best-kept secrets of humanity. When we help others we are actually helping ourselves. Whatever he received, I received tenfold, and it’s only now that I’m realizing it. I was the real beneficiary of these visits. My visit brought some joy into his life, but it’s brought immense joy into mine.Īs I stop at a traffic light I also realize that, all these years where I thought I was helping him, he was helping me. I know it made him feel good, and this makes me feel fantastic. I know he heard me today and that the reading truly touched him. I just sit there looking at his hundred-and-seven-year-old face.įinally I do leave, and as I’m driving away, I’m thinking about how much these weekly visits have meant to me. “Grampa I’ve got to go,” I finally say, but I don’t go. I take his limp hand into mine and just sit with him in silence. Somehow sensing that this might be the last time I see him alive, I pour out my feelings. He’s not saying anything, but I suddenly know he’s hearing every word. I continue to read, unsure if he’s hearing or not, but then I look up to see him smiling, with tears in his eyes. The passage goes on to say how people respond more favourably to praise than criticism, and it’s written from my grandfather’s perspective. ![]() What have I got to lose? “Why don’t people use praise more often?” I begin, quoting one of my grandfather’s favourite expressions. But now I’m feeling I’ve left it too late. He doesn’t know about the passage and I wanted to surprise him with it. I’ve brought my newly published book and want to read him a section where he is mentioned. “Grampa, can you hear me?” I ask for the third or fourth time. Today, as I sit beside him, his eyes are glazed and he’s showing no sign of even recognizing that I’m here. I push him around in his wheelchair, maybe take him out for some fresh air or feed him lunch, and sometimes, when I know he’s alert, I’ll talk to him about what’s happening in my life. I’m lucky to get a sentence or two out of him. I wanted to plumb the depths of the distilled wisdom that’s contained within a man who has lived past a hundred.īut now, at a hundred and seven, he hardly talks at all. I figured that from his perspective he’s probably seen and understood more things than a young person like myself could possibly fathom. I’ve asked him questions about everything-marriage, sex, health, religion, what’s important in life and what’s not. We’ve talked about politics, sports, the weather, his life, my life. I go about once a week, and at first I did it as the dutiful grandson, thinking of it as an obligation, but gradually, over the years, I’ve come to enjoy these visits. He moved in here when he broke his hip and couldn’t look after himself at home anymore. I’ve been visiting my grandfather at the senior citizens home for some time now. Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. ![]()
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